A big benefit of being both a content editor and a writer is that I can often learn more about copy writing from content editing. When marketing clients forward press releases that need to be reviewed or rewritten. I often see quotes included in the text, phrases or sentences that are meant to lend a voice to the story, but too often fall short in connecting with the audience, or voluntarily take a back seat in terms of effectiveness.
Here are four things not to do when using quotes in your press release or news article:
1. Reiterate in your quote. Don’t say in the text what you say in quotes, or vice-versa. See how this example essentially says the same thing again?
Mr. Smith said he was thrilled to have such an experienced industry leader join the board. “I am thrilled to have such an experienced leader join the ABC Company Board of Directors, ” he said.
Better to say:
Mr. Smith welcomed him to his new role within the company. “I am thrilled to have such an experienced leader serve as the chair of ABC Company’s Board of Directors, ” he said.
In the second example, the quote is not watered down with the paraphrasing that proceeds it. The reader is primed to focus more and tune out less, as the information in the quote is brand-new information (that the individual is experienced, and is joining the board as chairman).
2. Be laid-back about editing. This is not to say you should cut out huge chunks of text that take the speaker’s words out of context. But if you have a quote that goes like this, see what can be removed, especially if you’re short on space:
“We are searching for investors and funding. We are reaching out to as many investors as we can for funds to launch what we think is an amazing startup full of great possibilities. We feel there is great opportunity here in our new company, and need investors to stand behind it financially.”
By editing out the first and third sentence, you lose absolutely none of the essence, but remove distractions from the main message.
3. Think more is better. Don’t use too many quotes. They lose their punch. Opt to paraphrase, in some cases, instead.
Before: “My childhood home stood out because it was red. It was one street over from the hardware store. When I go into my old neighborhood, it brings back so many memories for me. The hardware store owner was a dear friend of my family.”
Better: “When I go into my old neighborhood, it brings back so many memories for me.” Her childhood home — the only red house on the block — was one street over from a hardware store owned by a dear family friend who she will never forget.
4. Use quotes — a lot — around single words or names of things. I’ve noticed that non-professional writers tend to do this with not only words they want to emphasize, but words they deem slang or new in the lexicon. For instance, you might see copy writing that showcases a grand-opening “sale,” with that word, inexplicably, in quotes. Or text that puts words like “smoothie,” “wi-fi,” and “selfie stick” in quotes, bungling up the flow and unnecessarily reminding us that these are not words they used in the 1800s.
The practice of careful quote use is something I keep in mind when copy writing clients’ materials from scratch. It’s just one more way a professional copy writer adds value to your business or venture.